This is a tough one.

About 5 years ago I did some volunteer work. My duties involved parents and kids. I am 100% certain that I fulfilled all of my responsibilities without fuss or any incidents. After a month of doing it I was sent a highly accusative letter full of outright lies and totally wrong assertions, expelling me from the volunteer work. I read the letter many times, digesting it in as objective and calm [??] manner as I could. I could only reach the following conclusions:

1. The sender could have got 100% of what he had wanted [getting me out of the volunteer group] without making any hurtful and wrong accusations.
2. Thus I can only conclude that the purpose of these accusations was to rile me for the sheer sake of it. I will add that the sender is an academic in a law faculty in a university. That he could be teaching other people how to think clearly [???] is disconcerting.

So, I send an official letter to their volunteer group, to be tabled as official incoming correspondence. I explained my total mystification at their accusations. All I got back was a rude, perfunctory, letter saying basically that "we are not going to repeat our letter" and that "there will be no more correspondence on this matter". Naturally, this riled me even more.

So, then it was gloves off as far as I am concerned. I decided to get nasty. I found out who this guy's employer was at the university. Then I emailed him and told him about his employee's inability to behave ethically and that he should not be promoted at the university. I found out that the email was received and it didn't make anyone at the university happy. So, I sent another one that was the same, all the time not making any insult whatsover because that's just not my style.

I am still, 5 years later sending these emails every so often and it is all that keeps me from frankly smashing a wall, window and my TV all at once. This is easily the most hurtful piece of *signed* writing that anyone has sent me in 37 years. It goes without saying that I have considered more drastic actions like marching up to the university and screaming in the face of this tool and poseur of an academic. But [1] he is a sessional lecturer so I can't know what the heck his hours are and [2] he wants me to be riled so why should I give him that pleasure, at least to his face.

I have tried umpteen times to forget about it all. If I could do that, I would. But I cannot.

So, the emails will continue. As a graphics designer I also have some other plans that will do as much damage to this goose as I can possibly achieve. If this clown goes to Yale, Harvard, LSOE...I don't give a toss...I will send emails and other stuff to his employer there as well.

I could see this still happening in another 20 years' time. Is that sad? Absolutely. But is it avoidable? I can't see how. This is his nastiness - not mine. With one mustard seed of common sense from him this would never have occurred. But he chose the ruthless path and now he will face the consequences from someone like me who is as ruthless as Eddie the Eagle is an Olympic champ.

So, any advice to either somehow [1] forget about it or [2] roll with the revenge and make it hurt this idiot will be appreciated. I really don't mindeither way. And as is the nature of this board, any esoteric aspects such as candles, meditation etc are welcome also.

Thank you.

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I'm sympathetic this is bothering you after a spell of time. That can eat at ones Self.

After working with the police for a time in my life, I am concerned that if you email anyone else on the matter, especially any future University's, professors, employers, this person would contact the police and ask for assistance, such as a peace bond. Or, take you to civil court and try to sue you for damages. Being that I don't know the details surrounding the situation, it is hard to say. It's been five years so legally it could be a dead case for you, but since you are leaving it open by sending letters every so often, it may still be an open case for him/her.

Courts do not like people acting irresponsibly because of emotional reasoning. Sympathy is not what they are there for.

Before doing anything else, I suggest looking into your legal rights regarding the situation. If you are sick of going through this, he/she may be just as sick of it and take legal action. I would hate to see that happen to you. Once it turns legal, it just feels ugly. No matter who is 'right' or 'wrong'. I hear you are suffering and I'm sorry you are going through this. You have my sympathy. In this world we sometimes walk amongst mean people. You may have found yourself one and I hope it goes away quickly.

Peace be with you....

I do appreciate people's feedback and advice.

If I could burn the letter that offended me, I would. But I am sure that any lawyer would tell me to keep it in case I have to use it in my defense. I will add that I can not bear to read it - I haven't set eyes on it for years. It is a sign of how hurtful its accusations are that I can get so upset WITHOUT looking at it.

My grievance has never been about being booted out of the volunteer group. That I don't care a lot about. It was always been that I did everything I could to act responsibly with other peoples' kids. In fact, with the night that the accusations centre upon I had one of the most senior members of the volunteer group tell me that he was very happy with what I was doing! So much so that he went to supervise other people because "I was clearly good enough at it to do it unsupervised!!!" It goes without saying that I quoted this in full when I sent them my "please explain your accusations" letter as in the OP!

I am careful in all this to stay on the right side of the law. I have been careful in all of the emails that I have sent. I also only send a few a year - I am in this for the long haul and intend this to be a slow, slow, dripfeed poison on the career of this pea-brained goose. I have avoided many of the things that I am sure WOULD possibly lead to legal consequences: I have never met this guy, I have never sent an email to him [so stalking is out the picture] - it's always his employer, colleague etc, and I never phone anybody or leave messages on a machine because from my understanding of law [I am no lawyer] that would expose me to charges of nuisance phone calls. I have also kept it all non-public. That is, I haven't written anything public on a blog or site. I don't know if "obsessed" is the right word. I do go for months in which I forget all about it - temporarily. I have been very vague in all these posts of course; I am certain that if he read all of this he could not identify that the dispute is about him.

I just have to say that if there is one thing on this planet that you want to do to get me riled it isn't to walk up to me and swear in my face. It isn't to spit at me. It isn't to laugh and pour dung on my choice of career. Nope. I've been there and done all of that. I forget about all that after a week. But if you are going to send me - IN WRITING - and SIGN a letter that I did not fulfil my responsibilities with other peoples' kids then there will be hell to pay, in this life or the next. Scratch my car. Burgle my house. Steal all my money. But do not, EVER make accusations without a SHRED of evidence that I misbehaved with kids.

My first action a week after I got the letter was to send them [him and the volunteer group] saying that if these accusations were made public, I would certainly take legal action. When I got another volunteer group the supervisor asked me what happened in all this and as soon as I got an angry look she said "politics huh?" and left it at that. That was with other people's kids as well and I did my duties perfectly well without any complaints or incidents. These days to do anything with kids you have to have a squeaky clean background, have a police check - all that stuff - and I satisfy all that no problem.

This guy was way, way, way out of line to send me any of this.

I hope that I am not sent ANY other letter like that for the rest of my time on this earth.

Anyway, thanks for the help and advice.

Your welcome.

Ya know - when you hold onto something like this all it does is eat away at you and there's this big chunk of negativity/hatred/anger that is inside preventing positive energy to enter and fill your being.

Personally, I think it would have been better to throw a curse at the person and it would have been all over a long time ago and you could have moved forward with your life. But this way you're dragging all the weight of your hatred and anger along with you and letting it fester away inside. You're letting what that person did to you control you and he's not worth it.

I believe, like Elia and Athena, that it would be much better and healthier for you to let it go and get rid of that 'drip-feed of poison' out of your life before it makes you ill.

Perhaps you feel that you can't let it go but if you make up your mind to do so, you will eventually be able to do just that. I do hope you find peace.

Briganta

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I agree with Briganta and imo this is a case where some magic even at this late date might also be sort of therapeutic for you, allowing you to let go. From what I'm reading it sounds like when you were questioned about it, it was easy to discern that it was simply politics. There is no excuse for this person's behavior, but it's always possible that some influence in their life was making them act crazy. It's really hard to tell sometimes particularly if the person concerned doesn't share much about themselves in the course of their business relationships.

Last year, a teacher punished my son inappropriately and actually humiliated him in front of the class. I was livid and made sure that it wouldn't happen again. It went into her employment record and in the course of my meetings with the school principal, I found out that her Mother was terminally ill. I never had to write a thing. Although, it didn't excuse her behavior in anyone's opinion, I then knew why she went off. I still will make sure that my daughter doesn't end up in her class and none of my friends children either....I can't forget, but I did let go. I think I just accepted that it happened, and I couldn't change the past. The only thing that I could control is how I behaved once the dust sort of settled. If someone in the same business knew that it was politics by the look on your face, I would be fairly certain that most everyone involved also recognizes it by now especially anyone who has interacted with that person. Perhaps he is known as a politically motivated person.

I feel like you are harming yourself by carrying this around with you. I'm glad that you haven't been reading and re-reading the letter. Since you feel the need to keep it, I suggest that you seal it in an envelope, then in a zip lock bag and then store it in the freezer. If you could also archive all your emails concerning the situation and refrain from reading and re-reading them, I think that would help you too. Elia's suggestion of a ritual to let go is very sound. If I were you I would also add in a little something-something that the truth is discerned by all. I think you can trust at this point that your emails have hit their mark and found their way to the right places. Forgiving is not forgetting-it's letting go of the anger and hurt. I urge you to do what you need to do to let go and move on. Imagine if you were spending this energy sending testimonials about people that you appreciate instead. How much better would you feel? Another thing to consider is how you are perceived by carrying on for so long. Have you ever heard the expression: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" ? In other words, your continued obsession with vengeance can actually make you look guilty! Idk, I think everyone struggles with situations, each are unique, and I think it will be a big weight off your shoulders when you let go.

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BTW, in ritual you could burn a copy of the letter and print outs of the emails...

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A good reminder to all of us dreamweaver. Thank you for the reminder.

How true!

Briganta

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I have read the various opinions here.

So to me it comes down to these choices:

[1] continue with actions against Mr X. Pros: vengeance Cons: time spent, spiralling anger, health is harmed.
[2] Ritual to forget about it all. Please advise. I have idea how to do such a ritual. Pros: get rid of it all. Cons: no more vengeance.
[3] Curse to get rid of it. Pros: get rid of it all. Cons: no more vengeance [?? does the curse itself linger??] Please advise. No idea how to this.
[4] Write a last letter to these clowns. Pros: get rid of it. Cons: may lead to legal action against me if I word it wrongly, and it will without doubt be ignored without reply by these clowns.

My preference is any of [2]-[4]. Always has been. I have to admit that it occurred to me a lot of times to cast a curse on it all. But I have idea how to do that. It would have to be something proper. Let's leave cliched, passe nonsense like voodoo dolls in Hollywood movies right now.

So, anyone who wants to write anything else, please direct it for any of [1]-[3].

Thank you.

From what I have learnt from this school and from all the great people within it, there is no such thing as vengeance within the Wiccan culture. Period. If you want vengeance then I would suggest talking with another forum that could help you better.

I have learnt that Wicca is a peaceful, forgiving, kind and loving culture. Here you will learn how to to that. As far as rituals, Elia mentioned the basics. What you say during the ritual must help you to let go on the negativity and help you to find peace. Finding peace takes time, but it is possible. What you have created is a habit and like all habit's, it just takes time to break it.

There are many rituals online so plug in a google search and give it a try. You might like what you read. I'm handfasting in a few months and I put together a wonderful ceremony based on people who were kind enough to share their ceremonies on the internet. It also helped me to add my own desires to the ceremony. It really is an amazing source. Even if you are not ready to let go of this, I still suggest looking for some forgiveness Wiccan rituals online. You have nothing to lose.

I would choose option 2, a ritual to get rid of it. Before that I'd write a spell that the truth is known, now and in the future for your own highest good. It sounds like you are inexperienced, so I suggest you make these two things into projects. I'm trying to go out the door now but I'm happy to start them out for you and hopefully some others can chime in with some things to add. Your own research and intuition should contribute to make it your own.

Truth Spell: Done during the full moon. Find the color, herbal and astrological correspondences.

Get rid of it Ritual: Done during the waning moon with candles where you freeze the original letter and burn copies of the letter and emails. Create a chant or a rhyme expressing your commitment to let go of all hurt and anger as the smoke dissipates into the atmosphere and to seal and freeze the incident into the past with the intention that it never be revisited.

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The Witches' Moot, Psychics's Fireside, Book of Shadows, Spellbinding Books, Brews and Broths, Children of the Moon, Specialist Topics, Aromatherapy and Herbs. PM me, I'm here to help.