I will apologize right out of the gate for the rambling I'm about to do.

I've recently been shown a new path for my life, one that speaks to my heart and makes me feel complete. The problem is, there is just so much to learn! I am attempting to figure out what Shamanism means to me, and maybe I'm looking into it too hard.

I've always had cryptic and vivid dreams, but recently begun to see things differently while I am awake. Things I may not have noticed if I wasn't paying attention, but thankfully, I was. I had the joy of seeing the beginnings of one of my complete Totems while I was in the tub one day. (That's the most wonderful thing, a mundane happening turning spiritual!) Many more awake visions, but that's a start.

I've had many experiences with 'otherworldly' visions while awake. I've tried to count them, but the more I think about it, the more I can put on the list. One of them was during what I considered a sore attempt at mediation... which I will be continuing to learn how to do. (Looking back, maybe not such a fail mediation after all, eh?)

I've connected very solidly with my Tiger. He's beautiful. He is very patient, but I can always feel the 'tension' of his being when he is close... very similar, if you will, to a cat preparing to pounce. He's told me he will remain patient, but I also get the very distinct feeling he is still frustrated with me. lol. Feline behavior at its finest.

I've seen a green/changing multi-colored dragon as well, who seems to be the "comic relief". A smart alec, if you follow. He has a completely different feeling to him, and he really loves laughing at me. After feeling his presence a few times, I went ahead and told him directly that he was a smarty pants and he enjoyed my honestly. By laughing of course. He also has a serious side, but much 'lighter' feeling then Tiger. Dragon protected me from the rain with his wings. Much appreciated.

I've had the experience (so far- will continue to advise) that thunder and lightning storms REALLY get the vision energy flowing. I barely had to close my eyes before being projected to my "starting point".

I've also dreamtimed into a stranger... whether it was current time, future or past I know not... but it was very vivid, and whoever it was has been "marked" by something not nice. It bothers me that I don't know this person, and I wish I had more experience so that I could help him.

I've also seen, (really SEEN- tangible and all) a morning dove. Also one of the shapes I visualized in the water of the infamous bath. Dove has about come into the car with me while I was driving. She had no fear of being hit by the strange machine hurdling toward her at 60+ mph... she merely had the intent I believe, of showing herself to me so that I truly believed she was for me. I've flown with her a few short times, and I have to admit, flying is INCREDIBLE!

It's amazing to me that what feels to be a 10 second increment of time can be so powerful.

I do believe the harder I try to "connect", the less I do. It seems easier to just, to put it in a figurative way... just GO. I'm trying not to over-analyze everything now, because when I do, I try to impart logic. Nothing about having visions or 'traveling' in my mind is logical. I may see the connection after I have grown more as a spiritual being, but for now I cannot.

The things I have been called to learn, or what I am drawn to... also seems to fit a shamanistic viewpoint. Chakra work, Herbalism, Crystal Healing, and Reiki. I've also felt a nagging to learn more about accupressure and reflexology.

I'm learning more about Sahjara mediation, and indeed have felt Kundalini as a cool breeze upon my body. I can see truth in Buddaism, Christianity (as I was raised, but my faith has been weak) and many other ancient religions. I believe there is one creator (with many cultural names) and that the earth is Home to powers that we can and should learn from and be a part of.

I've also been very curious about oracle and pendulum work to assist me in my new healing path. I recently purchased a beautiful Tarot deck (after my old one went away) and a Tiger Eye pendulum.

This path has many branches, like a river. I am a nurse by profession, so it's not a stretch for me to consider myself a 'medicine-woman'... although I've not learned enough to be so bold and refer to myself as such officially. lol. A work in progress, yes? My Native American ancestors I hope are proud that I've finally realized my true calling.

I hope this helps those reading as much as it's helped me to de-brief some... I've had many more happenings then these, but just getting them out to the populace has helped me come to terms more.

_________________

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is always exciting when we come to realize our spiritual calling. Many blessings to you.

_________________

Wicca Revealed Mentor
PM me anytime!

FOLLOW MY INSPERATIONAL BLOG!!!
http://lindsayrebel.tumblr.com/

Thank you Lindsay, for the blessings! I'm starting to feel like a snowball rolling downhill!

I've been attuned to Reiki I, what an experience! Totally enlightening! I've felt the powers of Angels, and feel energy in my body daily now. My hands are just electric, at times my feet as well. Looking forward to the next class, but in the meantime reading about Angels and dabbling with what else to do next.

Just spinning with it all. It's wonderful to have such a source of energy, but I still feel a little lost... Like I'm supposed to be DOING something but haven't come to it yet. My notebook is filling up but there is a missing link. I have a feeling it's right around the corner! Frustrated and excited at the same time.

Going to read more into the Tarot, and see how that trips my trigger. I'm not going to get tunnel vision. I've actually started taking notes in my Tarot book, which for me, being an avid reader, I typically would NEVER do! Write in a book!?? HORROR! lol

Wondering where else to post, I'd love more input on what the forum thinks or the feelings they get on what to focus on next.... Where is the EASY button??? >.>

_________________

That's the thing, it wouldn't be "shamanism" if it was easy to do. People die if they fail to become "shamans" after all, in many indigenous cultures. Either that, or they suffer for the rest of their lives until they finally die.

Course, that's assuming the individuals were actually meant to be so, which is few and far between in any culture (unless it's Imperial China, then the roles are split up into numerous specific shamans ranked like a government bureaucracy...but I digress).

_________________
Along The River: My paganism blog

/agree. If it was easy, everyone would do it.

It is more then a tad painful tho, to have such a sense of LONGING for something and you don't even know what IT is.

There are times (more so of late, and after my Reiki II, worse) that I firmly believe I'm being lead astray. I liken it to being the rope in a tug of war. Not really pleasant. I will stay true to me, and hope that guidance will come soon. I am keeping my mind open in the chance a whisper or an idea materializes. I've gotten this far, and if I die without "becoming" what I was meant to, I'll just try next time.

Thanks for popping your head in @Whitefox

_________________

I would say that perhaps it might be a good idea to sort out and learn more indepth about what you have already experienced before moving on to anything else. If you get a good grasp of and totaly understand what you're being called to learn then that should supply you with a firm foundation from which to move forward.

You mentioned the things that you've been called to learn - chakra work, herbalism, crystal healing, Reiki and Tarot - I don't want to disappoing you but these things have little, if any, connection to Shamanism. Is it more probable, I wonder, if you're being called to be a healer?

It's wonderful that you have a good working relationship with Tiger and Dove - these animals are with you to help you on your journey I'm sure and maybe they can help to sort things out for you.

Briganta

_________________
~Moderator of Psychic's Fireside~
~ Book of Shadows~
~ Divine Divination~
~ House of Deities~

If you have any questions please feel free to PM me.

@Briganta... yes, your right. a lot of the things I've felt pulled to do aren't part of your typical shaman toolbox. You've hit the nail on the head as well with the 'healing' part. I'm trying to avoid using labels now, as that even though I'd like to be able to say "I am learning this - insert label here" I've found that none fit me or what I've felt the need to learn more about.
One of the biggest reasons that I've attempted to learn more about shamanism is the astral travel. It's hard to be a native without a tribe though. Shamans did NOT learn solo, so I've set that aside. Instead I'm learning what I'm guided to learn about without the need for tangible phrasing.
I also think that our time frame and the flux of energy that it going on that it's very difficult to label, due to the fact that the lines have been blurred, and melded. One that has been called to shamanism because of an innate talent to astral travel may also be a healer. And a witch. And a Reiki master. See where I'm going? lol.

So no I'm not discouraged at all, I do remain frustrated. As in everything the closer I am to Light, the closer Darkness is to me. I'm sorting out my 'grey' area, if you will. I'm trying to avoid ignoring things that make no sense to me, for a multitude of reasons.

1. Random ideas no longer seem random. At first I thought the possibility was there that these "out of nowhere" things were to put me off course. That may be the case, but to be as balanced as possible, If no harm is done it won't hurt either.

2. Knowledge. Just because I've WANTED to focus on a subject, I'll let my mind wander if it wants to a separate subject. They are usually related or complementary. I'm finding the only thing that hurts is my notebook space. -giggle

3. Growth. Just like anyone (especially here, where this conversation makes the most sense) I know that my path is my path. I've started upon it, due to powers greater then I. My indian heritage and shamanism made sense, and if it weren't for that I may have turned tail and bee-lined to the nearest psychologist. The powers (Gods, Goddesses, Universe, etc....) KNEW that my logical thinking mind needed a logical 'crumb' to get me moving forward. Healing also makes sense, since I'm already a nurse. But, now that I've made that first step, the next curtain has rose. And again, I'm boggled.


I hope this doesn't seem like ranting. If anything typing this out feels more of a de-brief then anything. I'm so grateful for magicka, and the people here that go out of their way to post information, and grace me with their thoughts. I already feel that I've grown as a person, but like I've stated already... I can tell there is more and/or something important that I need to do.

I've made a purchase for a Book of Shadows... originally it was supposed to be a refillable journal for my daughter, but after I showed her a picture and seen her reaction, I'm going to be using it instead. (Teenagers. Anyone want one??? arghhh) Having all my notes sorted out may help guide me.

_________________

lol - had two teenagers but they grew up, they can certainly be a challenge, though.

I'm sure your path will sort itself out for you, it just may take a bit of time. It's not just the destination - the journey itself is important. I'm sure you'll learn much along the way.

Since you're interested in astral travel have you looked into Hedgeriding?

Briganta

_________________
~Moderator of Psychic's Fireside~
~ Book of Shadows~
~ Divine Divination~
~ House of Deities~

If you have any questions please feel free to PM me.

Well, it's not so much as I'm interested in astral travel as much as astral travel is interested it me. And no, I'd never heard of hedgeriding until you spoke of it. From what I am gathering (and I want you to take to heart this is one website full of information, not 10) that it involves the use of hallucinogenics. Don't get me wrong, I understand they have their place, they just aren't for me right now on my path.

Plus, I have a tendency to travel during mediation, or if i concentrate hard enough, or ask to travel.

_________________

Only if you wish to use them!

Briganta

_________________
~Moderator of Psychic's Fireside~
~ Book of Shadows~
~ Divine Divination~
~ House of Deities~

If you have any questions please feel free to PM me.